Lemonade
by Mari Riddle-Potter
Summary: Ron has the life he always dreamed of and in a flash it all gets taken away. RonLavender, RonHermione, HarryHermione. Rated R for language and some “stuff” later on…
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Lemonade

**Author**: Mari Riddle-Potter

**Rated**: R

**Summary**: Ron has the life he always dreamed of and in a flash it all gets taken away. Ron/Lavender, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Hermione. Rated R for language and some "stuff" later on…

**Disclaimer**: I don't own them I'm just playing with them for a little while. They all belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers so don't sue me. 

**Dedications**: This story is dedicated to Sammie, who suggested the pairing.      

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Ron thought there was nothing missing in his life as he sat by the lake with his girlfriend, Lavender, in his arms. He had never felt so complete in all his 16 years of life. There was not a single worry in Ron's mind because as far as he knew, the world had stopped revolving and now focused on the two most passionate lovers at Hogwarts. Lavender inclined her head up slightly to look into Ron's eyes and he smiled at her. He loved looking at those deep blue eyes of hers. He ran his hands through her silky brownish-blond hair and she giggled. Ron was happy he had gotten away from Harry and Hermione to have this private moment with the love of his life. Harry was probably with his girlfriend, Ginny, up in the Astronomy Tower or maybe in the Room of Requirement "talking". Hermione, sadly, was not with anyone because she was deeply immersed in studying and pushing herself along. Ron had given up on her around the middle of their fifth year, sick of throwing out clues as to his feelings for her. All had turned out well later on when he got with Lavender and discovered that she was his true love. They shared so much in common it was scary. It all started out when Ron couldn't sleep one night and decided to read one of his comic favorite books, "The Adventures of Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle" downstairs in the common room. Lavender, coincidently, was also down there finishing an assignment she had postponed till last minute. When she saw him with her favorite comic book, she went to talk to him about it and it was instant love.

"Isn't the sunset beautiful?" asked Lavender, snuggling up closer to Ron. 

"Almost as beautiful as you are," said Ron, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

"I love you, Ron."

"I love you too."

"I want to be with you forever," said Lavender, sitting up and putting her arms around his neck.

"How cheesy," said Ron, laughing at her.

"I know, huh?" she agreed, throwing a playful punch at him. She grew a little bit serious and somber. Ron noticed this right away and became worried.

"What's wrong?" he asked, rubbing her arm gently. Lavender stood up and walked toward the edge of the lake, arms crossed as if she were really cold. Ron followed suite and stood a couple of feet away from her, not knowing whether to approach her or not.

"Ron, come here," she said, not turning to face him. He walked towards the edge of the lake and stood next to her. Ron noticed tears streaming down her cheeks and she made no effort to wipe them away. She bowed her head and closed her eyes, and for a moment Ron thought she was meditating but then she raised her head and looked at him.

"I don't know how to say this…" she began, and took a deep breath. 

"You're not breaking up with me, are you? What did I do? A minute ago we were-"

"I'm not breaking up with you, but I will be going away…far away," Lavender said, and a sob escaped her throat. She put a hand over her mouth and stared intently at the ground. 

"Where are you going? Are you moving to a different school? Because if it's that, I'll do anything possible to be with you. I'll go visit you on the weekends," ranted Ron. At this Lavender cried harder and shook her head.

"You can't visit me Ron. Not unless you're dead," she said, still avoiding his gaze.

"What are you talking about?" asked Ron. 

"I have a brain tumor. I'm going to die. I only have two more months to live," Lavender said, crying harder. Ron's eyes widened and he felt his very life leave his body. Feeling weak, he took a seat on the grass and put his head in his hands.

"No, you're lying… you're not going to die…you can't just leave me here!" yelled Ron at Lavender, inducing more sobs from her.

"There's no cure for it. Believe me, I've tried every option to try to get better. I don't want to die. I want to grow old and have children with you," she said, pacing the grass. "Dammit Ron, I don't want to die!"

"Have you tried that muggle thing, Chemo-something. It's helped people survive cancer for a long time, maybe you could-"

"I've tried it already. They have a wizarding method that's better than the muggle one because you don't show physical symptoms," said Lavender, taking a seat next to Ron.

"No, you can't go, you just can't," said Ron, taking her in his arms. Lavender noticed that he had started to cry, and that made her cry even more.

"Please Ron, don't make this hard on me. I need your support," she pleaded, hugging him with all her might.

"I'm going to be with you until the very end, I promise," Ron said, and they both sat crying in each others arms, watching the rest of the sun set, but suddenly it wasn't as beautiful as it had been.

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            A month and a half had gone by, and Ron couldn't stand to see Lavender suffer so much. At first she had been okay, almost normal. Ron had forgotten about her illness until one day during a Potions lesson she fainted and had to be rushed to the hospital wing. She wasn't recovering from the fall very well, so she had to be escorted to St. Mungo's, where they were right now. Ron knew she was close to her death, but not for a single moment did he give up hope. He stayed by her, day and night. Harry and Hermione were given special permission to visit the hospital in order to give Ron his homework. Lavender was asleep for the majority of the day, so half the time they came to visit she wasn't aware of it. At the times when she was awake, she would flash Ron a smile as if nothing were wrong. She spoke very little but he spoke to her all the time, giving her the support she had asked for and that he was more than willing to give her. 

            Approximately two months plus a couple of days had gone by, and Lavenders health deteriorated even more. He was sitting next to the hospital bed she lay in, looking at her. She looked skinnier than he had ever seen her. The most she weighed was probably 90 pounds. Her cheeks had lost the healthy glow and her lips were chapped and pale. The hair that loved to play in the wind was draped limply on the pillow. Ron still loved her no matter what. As he stared on, he saw that her pulse was getting weaker and weaker and her breathing more far apart. Alarmed, he ran out of the hospital room, looking around madly for a doctor or nurse.

"Somebody, please…she's dying," Ron yelled, and a nurse at a nearby station heard him.

"What room?" a nurse asked, and Ron grabbed her by the wrist and lead her to Lavender. He saw a couple of nurses come to check Lavender and finally a doctor came. They made no attempt to try to stabilize her.

"Hello son, my name is Dr. Monroe," said the doctor, introducing himself. He checked Lavenders records, and then looked up at Ron, sadness in his eyes.

"You knew this moment would come…and actually I did too. I am her doctor." 

"Why aren't you trying to save her? She's dying!" said Ron frantically.

"I can't. I would if I could, but Lavender and her parents signed a form before she ever came into my care that stated that if she were about to die and there was no cure for her, not to attempt to stabilize her, but better yet let her rest in peace. There is nothing I can do for her," said the Dr. Monroe. Ron sank into the chair next to Lavender's bed and waited for the final moment to come. The doctor stood at the foot of the bed, silent. The magic heart monitor connected to Lavender beat slow and then finally stopped. Ron had never seen anyone die before and it was the most shocking moment of his life. The love of his life lay lifeless on the bed and there was nothing he could do. He slowly stood up and planted a kiss on her lips. The last kiss he would ever give her.

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            Harry and Hermione sat in the common room, facing the fireplace. They were studying for their History exam but none could seem to concentrate. Hermione was worried about Ron because, truth was, she loved him. It wasn't the type of platonic love she had for Harry, oh no. She loved him like he loved Lavender, with an undying passion. She knew she had been stupid not to become his girlfriend. Hermione was fully aware that studying is not everything in life. She regretted not having him to herself, but all the while supported his love for Lavender, mourning in the silence of her heart. Whatever made Ron happy made her happy too. When she heard that Lavender was on the verge of death, she felt sadness for both of them because she knew the love they had was true and pure. She tried to support and help Lavender because she was also one of her best friends. She knew there was nothing she could do for Lavender but be there for her and Ron. This had to be one of the most difficult times in their lives and even though she couldn't completely share the feeling she understood it.

            On the other hand, Harry wasn't very close to Lavender but he was there for Ron. In order to help Ron relax and forget his problems, Harry would practice Quidditch with him in the afternoons or whenever he suspected Ron was in need of a break from all the drama. Harry also needed a break from the drama after breaking up with Ginny, who was not taking it very lightly. He would bring Ron his homework and sometimes even do it for him if he saw he was way too exhausted, even if it meant staying up until really late. Hermione would help Harry do Ron's homework, even though it went strictly against her beliefs that each person should do their own work. She couldn't see what else either of them could do for him and yet it wasn't enough- well at least for her it wasn't. Harry seemed to think it was enough and was a peace with his own conscience. Hermione was blaming herself for not dating Ron, because if she would have dated him he wouldn't have turned to Lavender and therefore her death wouldn't be such a horrible thing in his life. She hated how her brain worked overtime to blame her for things she couldn't have possibly known would occur.

            The magic clock above the fireplace hit 11 at night. Hermione was about to fall asleep when she heard the portrait hole open and saw Ron walk in, a tremendously exhausted and lonely look on his face. Hermione feared the worst but kept silent as did Harry, who ceased writing and dropped his quill. She saw that Harry had not, as she suspected, been doing his homework but instead had been drawing tiny snitches around the border of his parchment. Ron sat down in an armchair next to the couch she and Harry were sitting on. He put his face in his hands and stayed like that for a while. After a couple of minutes Hermione glanced at Harry, silently agreeing on who would talk to him first. Harry cleared his throat and pushed his books aside. Ron didn't move or make a sound.

"What happened?" asked Harry finally, although he had suspected what had occurred. Ron straightened up, his expression neutral. Hermione could see it in his eyes that he was trying his best to remain strong and not cry. She thought it was unfair men weren't allowed to cry because it was seen as unmanly. Everybody should have the right to express their pain.

"She's gone," Ron said, his voice quaking with emotion. He was gripping the arms of the chair so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.

"Oh Ron, I'm so sorry," whispered Hermione, tears welling up in her eyes. She got up and went to hug Ron and he accepted it and she could tell that he was grateful for it. She sat next to Ron for a long time just holding him there while Harry awkwardly looked elsewhere.

"When's the funeral?" asked Harry.

"_Harry_," hissed Hermione, shutting him up.

"No, its ok, really… today is Tuesday right?" asked Ron tiredly, as though talking were difficult for him. Hermione nodded her head. "The funeral is on Thursday…"

"We'll be there with you, Ron. I'm so sorry," said Hermione, a tear rolling down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly before Ron could see it. 

"Thanks…I appreciate it," he said, standing up. Hermione noted how empty he looked, as if there was a part of him missing. He stood there cold and all alone, jokes and laughter missing which was quite an unusual sight. Not that she expected him to be happy at the moment, but she did hope he would recover from this soon. 

"Where are you going?" Hermione asked, rubbing her eyes in order to make the tears go away.

"I'm going up to bed. I'll see you guys in the morning," he said wearily, and he climbed up the stairs to the 6th year boy's dormitory. Hermione followed him with her eyes until he was out of sight, then she turned to Harry.

"Well weren't you quite the chatterbox," she commented sarcastically, reaching for her books.

"What could I say to him? I rather you do the talking," said Harry, going back to drawing the snitches. 

"Harry, he's your best friend and he's going through a difficult time. He needs you more than me."

"Don't act like he's not your best friend too."

"He is, but he's a guy and you're a guy too. So you can have that little guy to guy chat. He would feel more comfortable talking with you than with me," pointed out Hermione.

"Well when I tried to talk to him you shut me up as though what I asked was inconsiderate," said Harry, not looking up at her.

"How the hell are you going to ask him at a time like this "When's the funeral"? You used a tone of voice that was inconsiderate, although I know you didn't mean to be."

"See, I can't be considerate. So you talk to him."

"Oh no Harry Potter, you're not weaseling your way out of this one. All you need to do is think before you speak," said Hermione, glaring at him. "Why don't you want to talk to him anyways?"

"You think I haven't tried to talk to him before? He never opens up and talks to me, he just tells he he's okay," said Harry, and Hermione felt he was starting to get pist off.

"Just try one more time, will you? Do it for me, please," she said, giving him a sad puppy dog face.

"Oh no not the sad face," said Harry, putting his face in his hands. "Alright, I'll do it."

"You're the best," said Hermione, jumping up and hugging him. 

"Yeah, I know," said Harry, and Hermione punched him in the arm. He looked into her big brown eyes that shone with appreciation. He loved the way she looked at him, her expressions, the way she curled up on the couch…just everything. He didn't know why he found it so hard to tell Hermione he loved her. Maybe it was the fear of rejection. One of these days he would tell her, and hopefully very soon. 

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            Harry went up do his dormitory at around 1 in the morning, because he was "studying". More like studying Hermione, but nobody needed to know that. He found that everyone in the dormitory was asleep, except for Ron, who sat on his bed in pajamas staring at the wall. He had hoped that Ron would be asleep so he would have time to think about what to say to him but no such luck. Harry approached his own bed and sat on it, not looking at Ron. He rehearsed in his mind his first sentence, decided Hermione's "think before you speak" strategy was bullshit, and decided to dive right in. 

"Ron, do you want to talk?" asked Harry slowly and quietly, careful not to wake anybody who was sleeping.

"That's ok Harry, I'm fine," said Ron in a barely audible voice.

"Because if you need to talk to me I'm here," continued Harry, trying his best to coax something out of Ron in order not to let Hermione down.

"I know you are, but I'm fine. Really, I am," Ron tried to convince Harry.

"You know, every time I try to talk to you, you never seem to want to talk about how you feel even though I know you're feeling rotten," said Harry, pulling his shirt up over his head and putting on his pajama top. "It's like you don't feel like sharing details about the world you and Lavender shared because you feel it'll spoil it. The only way you'll feel better about everything is saying it."

"It's not that. You don't understand," said Ron, still not moving a muscle or looking at Harry.

"That's because you don't want me to understand. If you want to sit there and drown in a big round pool of shit, then by all means go right ahead. Just don't splash or wake me up," said Harry, putting on his pajama pants and crawling into bed. He turned his back on Ron and closed his eyes.

"I loved her Harry," said Ron slowly. Harry opened his eyes and turned around slowly. Ron was looking at him and Harry tried not to notice he was on the verge of tears.

"I know you did. And I'm sure she loved you too," said Harry, not quite knowing what else to say.

"I had hoped we could graduate from school together and then after I was planning to propose to her. I wanted to be with her forever and have a nice little house and a couple of kids. Now you're going to think I sound gay, right?" said Ron, with a little chuckle.

"No, I think that sounds nice," said Harry.

"I feel sad about her death but I'm really disappointed that I won't get that life I wanted, because I had been looking forward to it. It's like being dropped from heaven to hell in a split second," said Ron, taking a deep breath.

"Who says you won't be able to get that life? You're 16 years old. You can get over this and start a life with another girl you'll eventually fall in love with," pointed out Harry.

"It won't be the same. Lavender and I were so alike it was scary. We liked the same things, thought the same way, and joked about the whole world. I don't think I can get that with another girl. That kind of thing happens once in your life if you're lucky and twice if you are _really lucky."_

"You can't just give up hope."

"What if I don't want to find someone else? What if I never want to forget Lavender? Because I don't Harry. I never want to forget her. I want to hold on to her for the rest of my life because she was my second half and without her I feel lost and empty and I see no point in trying to replace her," said Ron exasperatedly.

"Do you think Lavender would like to see you mourning over her for the rest of your life? The world keeps revolving, Ron. If life gives you lemons you have to learn to make lemonade. You have to get over this, and if not for you then do it for Lavender, so she can rest in peace," said Harry.

"You think I can't sit here happy and jump for joy?" retorted Ron.

"You have the right to be sad about her death right now and mourn her, but you have to get over it eventually. You can't hold on to this for the rest of your life. I'm just trying to make sure you'll be okay," said Harry, trying to get through to Ron. They sat in silence for a couple of minutes and Harry wasn't sure whether to say anything.

"So you think there's another person out there for me?" said Ron after a while. 

"I KNOW there is," Harry said convincingly.

"I hope you're right, Harry."

"I'm always right," said Harry, smiling. Ron continued to sit there in his bed, staring at the wall while Harry lay on his back in his bed. They sat in silence once more, and Harry appreciated it since he couldn't think of anything else to say. He sighed and was bout to fall asleep when Ron spoke.

"Harry, do you love anyone?" asked Ron for no particular reason. Harry's eyes shot open and his body tensed up. 

"Do you mean to say if I care for anyone?" said Harry, trying hard to rephrase the question and confuse Ron.

"No, I mean do you _love_ anyone. As in romantically," said Ron.

"No," replied Harry.

"Liar, I know you love somebody."

"No, seriously, I don't."

"I won't tell anyone, only Hermione."

"That's the problem, she can't know about it," said Harry and quickly clamped a hand over his mouth and rolled his eyes. What a big mouth he had.

"You're in love with Hermione," said Ron, turning to look at Harry. Harry shook his head but Ron nodded his and there was no way to retreat from what he had said.

"Ok fine I do. But don't tell her," said Harry.

"I won't tell her. That's your business, not mine," Ron said, finally laying down.

"Thanks," said Harry, and he turned away from Ron and tried to fall asleep. He couldn't help wondering whether Ron still loved Hermione or not. But that wasn't fair, because Ron wasn't with Hermione because he didn't try hard enough to get to her. He wouldn't give up that easy. He would do whatever possible to get Hermione to fall in love with him if she wasn't already. Harry doubted Ron would give Hermione another go, but the thought still lingered in his mind. He thought it would be rude for Ron to go after Hermione so soon after Lavender's death, which he knew he wouldn't. What he was worried about was later on, when the hurt wears off and he would want to give love another go. Only the future will tell what will happen.     

To Be Continued….

(A/N: Tell me if you think I should continue this story. It will have lots of chapters and it will get very interesting. After I get 15 reviews I will continue the story because I want to see first if ya'll like it ;) )


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N: Thank you for all those who reviewed!!! I will now post, as I promised. Enjoy!!!)

**Disclaimer**: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling, the lucky girl ;). 

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**Chapter 2**:

            Harry woke up early on Wednesday morning and found that Ron's bed was already made. This was weird, since Harry was always the one to have to wake up Ron. But then again, everything was weird these days. He remembered that Lavender had passed away and thought to himself that if Hermione passed away he would be just as depressed as Ron. He was hoping that his talk with Ron last night had some effect on him. Harry had replayed the conversation in his head about a million times and found that his words were actually convincing, which was a major accomplishment. He figured that he might be in the Great Hall having breakfast, so he got dressed, picked up his book bag, and went downstairs. Passing through the common room, he spotted Hermione sprawled on the couch reading a book. She didn't notice him and this gave him the opportunity to check out the way her fingers gently turned the pages and wished that she would use her hands to…

"Harry, you're up already?" asked Hermione, sitting up on the couch and making room for him.

"I can't sit down now, I have to look for Ron," he said. Even though all this intense drama had barely commenced yesterday, he was already quite tired of it. Not that Ron was annoying him or anything, it's just that he always had something to worry about. 

"Wait, look for Ron? I thought he was upstairs sleeping," she said, putting her book aside and standing up.

"No, I woke up and he was gone. So you didn't see him come downstairs?"

"I would have followed him if I had seen him. He must have come down very early, before either of us woke up," she surmised, swinging her heavy book bag over her shoulder. Harry's heart twinged with jealousy as she said this. She never waited for him downstairs in the common room, much less at such early hours.  

"Let's go look for him," suggested Harry, and he and Hermione walked out of the portrait hole and to the Great Hall. Even though she had not suggested to look for him, she walked with a certain determination that Harry guessed was the same one that drove her to do so well at school.

"How did it go last night, did you talk to him?" asked Hermione, walking beside Harry at a much faster pace. Her wavy brown hair flew behind her in a long stream.

"Yeah, I did. I'll tell you about it later, though. It's a long story," said Harry, and with one last turn they reached the Great Hall. Hermione loved the way it looked and especially the ceiling. She was surprised that after so many years of seeing it over and over again she was still baffled by its beauty and splendor. The Hall was not yet packed with students, but a couple of early birds sat there munching on toast or doing last minute studying. They looked around, expecting to spot Ron seated at the Gryffindor table but he wasn't there. Hermione gave a worried glance at Harry and turned around, headed for the entrance of the school. She exited Hogwarts at top speed, Harry closely running behind her.

"Hermione, what-" he began, but Hermione held out a hand and silenced him. She was staring across the grounds toward the lake and, sure enough, there was Ron sitting in the grass staring at in intently, as though deep in thought. The morning sun made his hair look redder than it really was, which Harry had thought wasn't possible.

"Should we go and talk to him?" asked Harry, catching his breath.

"No, I think we should leave him alone. He needs this time to think. Plus, that's the spot where he and Lavender used to watch the sun set," said Hermione and headed back to the school.

"How do you know that?" asked Harry, walking right behind her.

"The window in my dormitory has a view of the Great Lake," she said without stopping. "I would see them all the time hugging and kissing."

"Oh," replied Harry. He hated the note of jealousy in her voice, which made him jealous because that meant she felt something beyond friendship for Ron.

"Let's go get some breakfast before class, I'm sure he'll catch up to us later," said Hermione. Harry was glad to have a breakfast alone with Hermione, even though he wasn't going to do anything but talk to her in a strictly platonic way. Oh, how he prayed for the courage to sweep her off her feet, as corny as that may sound. The Great Hall had a bit more people than it had when they first went, and Harry and Hermione went to sit in a partially empty part of the Gryffindor table. Harry found he wasn't that hungry, even though they had all his favorite breakfast foods laid out on golden plates. 

"So now can you tell me about what happened last night?" asked Hermione, picking up a piece of toast off one of the large plates.

"It took a lot to get just a bit of information out of him, I'll tell you that," said Harry, watching her eat.

"What did he tell you?" she asked curiously, chewing her toast.

"He said that he had wished he and Lavender could get married and have a nice house with lots of kids but now that dream was shattered," replied Harry, pouring himself some pumpkin juice just so he wouldn't go until lunch with an empty stomach.

"Oh, really? And did you say anything to that?" she asked, not sure she wanted to hear any more of it. It was hard on her to think that if Lavender would have lived, the relationship between her and Ron would have gone on even after they graduated. Hermione had to admit that she hoped that Ron and Lavender would break up by then. 

"I told him he still had the chance and that he would fall in love with someone else eventually and he got angry. Can you believe that?" said Harry, taking a sip of his juice.

"I think he doesn't want to deal with the future right now when he has the present to worry about."

"True, but he could have taken it a bit more lightly."

"What, he threw a thong at your head or something?"

"Ron wears thongs?" asked Harry, taken aback by her comment. 

"No, but I suspect he does," she said, smiling. "I mean, Lavender thought it looked sexy on guys and Ron was always so willing to make her happy."

"I don't think Ron would go as far as wearing a thong."

"Why not? Malfoy wears a thong," said Hermione, and Harry spit pumpkin juice all over the table.

"How the hell do you know?" he said, wiping his mouth with a cloth napkin.

"Dobby told me so. He said that 'Master Malfoy' always demanded a fresh thong to put on in the morning," said Hermione, almost unable to contain her laughter. Harry's mouth was hanging open and after a while he burst out laughing.

"Who would have guessed? Malfoy in a thong," he said.

"So how did Ron take it?" she asked, getting back to the subject.

"He told me he would never love anyone like he loved Lavender again and a whole load of other bullshit," replied Harry, finishing his pumpkin juice. "We better get to class, hopefully Ron is there already."

"Ok," said Hermione a bit shakily, standing up and following Harry out of the great Hall. That last sentence had burst her little bubble of hope involving getting with Ron. He would never love her as much as Lavender. If she was to get with him, she wanted to be his sun and earth, just what Lavender had been to him. She wanted Ron to love her so strongly that he would think of a life together after Hogwarts, just like he had done with her. All of a sudden Hermione wasn't so sure she wanted to be with Ron. Not if he wouldn't love her back.

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Their first class of the day, History of Magic, was so boring it almost made Hermione fall asleep. Professor Binns was lecturing in his usual lazy voice, pretending not to see students throw balled up parchment through him. Ron, sitting on her left, was turning the pages of his History book, skimming through it without actually reading anything. Hermione didn't know how he could just sit there and pretend to listen to the lecture while his whole world was slowly falling to pieces. Harry, on her right, was stabbing his parchment with a quill. She saw his eyes were half closed, looking as though any second he might fall asleep. She had to admit that she has once had a crush on Harry that lasted about a week and a half because she thought he was simply adorable, and then it went as quickly as it came when she managed to convince herself that there was no way famous Harry Potter would ever like her back. That had all happened during her first year. He spotted her looking at him and she looked away quickly, pretending to take notes on the lecture. He tore a piece of paper out of a notebook he had and wrote a message on it, handing it to Hermione. She picked it up and opened it.

_"Are you bored?"_ it said. Hermione rolled her eyes. She wasn't a big fan of note passing, but since she was bored and she already knew Professors Binns' information by heart, she decided to play along with it. She dipped her quill in her inkpot and wrote a message, then folded the note up. She handed it back to Harry with a smile.

_"Not as bored as you are" _he read. He loved her neat hand writing and the way she wrote small, but not so small it was unreadable. Harry thought about whether this was the right time to tell her about his crush. If she looked at him weird he couldn't bail, which wasn't a plus. He thought it was now or never, so he carefully chose his words and wrote them neatly on the paper. His heart was beating as though it wanted to burst out of his chest and the classroom suddenly started to feel hot. He folded it up and handed it to her, looking away.

Hermione took the note from him and slowly opened it. She noticed how Harry was nervously tapping his quill on the wooden desk._ "There's something I have wanted to tell to you for a long time. I love you." _said the note. When Hermione read what it said she almost had a heart attack. Not out of disgust but just of pure shock. She liked Harry a lot but didn't love him like she loved Ron. She quickly thought over what to say, noticing that Harry was avoiding her gaze which she thought was rather cute. She didn't want to break Harry's heart and secretly admired his courage to be able to tell her. Hermione was thinking about how Ron would never love her because he was still obsessed with Lavender. She couldn't spend the rest of her life hoping he would notice her and want to be her boyfriend. Hermione understood that now was too soon to start trying to get to his heart because Lavender had barely passed away the day before. Deep down, though, she knew it would be hard for Ron to ever forget Lavender and fully devote himself to someone else. Making her decision, she picked up her quill and scribbled a message back.

_"I like you too Harry…now what?" _she wrote and folded the note, knowing this message would mark the beginning of a new thing in her life. She didn't love Harry but she would try her best to learn if it made him happy, even though it would probably prove to be difficult. She knew he had suffered a lot in life and she was willing to try to bring the love in his life that he was missing. Hermione handed the note to Harry, not looking him in the eyes. Harry's heart felt 10 times lighter when he read it. He couldn't believe she loved him back. This was turning out to be a great idea.  

_"Now we talk about it rather than just writing. This isn't a romance novel, you know." _Harry wrote, and Hermione laughed out loud when she read it, even though it really wasn't that funny. The whole Gryffindor and Ravenclaw class turned to look at her and Professor Binns looked up from his book, glaring at her.

"Ms. Granger, I don't think the Fedilius the Awkward's beheading is very funny," he said harshly. 

"I'm sorry, sir," she said, and with that Professor Binns returned to his boring lecture. Hermione looked at Harry and they exchanged smiles. She thought that maybe learning to love Harry wouldn't be so hard after all.

            Meanwhile Ron had seen the whole thing from his seat next to Hermione. He had read over her shoulder every single word that Harry had written her. He remembered when he had been talking to Harry last night and he had told him who he loved. Ron knew Harry loved Hermione but he wanted to know for sure, which is why he had posed the question. When his suspicions proved to be correct, he felt an awful sinking feeling in his stomach which he shook off immediately. He loved Lavender with all his heart and would always love her, which is why he didn't understand why he felt jealous when he heard Harry say he loved Hermione. Maybe it was just that he felt protective of Hermione because he knew what a bitch love could be, or maybe he felt Harry would not love her enough and make her suffer, or even because he didn't want his two friends together because then he would feel left out. Or maybe it was because he loved Hermione again. Whatever the reason, now he felt dirty and guilty for that brief pang of jealousy he had felt. How could it be that so soon after Lavender's death he had started to feel something, which could possibly be romantic love, for somebody else? He wouldn't listen to that perverted, awful, unsentimental part of his heart. His heart would remain with Lavender and he would never love anyone again. Harry and Hermione could be with each other and he would try to support it. The bell rang and everybody stood up, making their way to their next class. He stayed behind and watched, with a bit of satisfaction, as Hermione walked quickly ahead of Harry, as if trying to avoid him. By the looks of it, Harry would have to wait until lunch to talk to Hermione since she had a different class. Ron packed up his books slowly and was the last one to leave the classroom, brain still buzzing with thoughts.

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Harry and Ron's next class, Divination, was a breeze. As soon as class started, Professor Trelawney instructed them to get into partners and try their hands at palmistry, telling them to turn their books to page 408. She walked around the classroom, observing her student's work and correcting them if she saw a mistake. Harry just sat back, pretending to read the book. He couldn't wait for class to be over so he could talk to Hermione. Ron, on the other hand, had his arms crossed and was tilting his chair back so that I was balanced on two legs. Harry felt the incredible urge to push him backwards, something Ron had done to him earlier that year. He didn't do it, though, because he saw the look of intense frustration and sadness in his face and thought it wasn't the appropriate time. Instead, he resorted to balling up paper and launching it at Parvati, who was working with Neville now that Lavender, her partner in crime, was gone. Harry was amused at the way he would throw one, bonk her right in the back of neck, and she would turn around, eyes full of fury, and scan the classroom. Harry would pretend to be reading and she would turn around and continue working, then he would do it again. He thought it was hilarious that by the 15th ball she still hadn't figured out who kept on throwing it.

"Want to give it a shot?" asked Harry to Ron, balling up another little piece of paper and hitting her in the back of the neck. Parvati turned around furiously, almost falling out of her chair and Harry burst out laughing.

"Are you throwing paper at me, Harry?" asked Parvati angrily.

"Not me. I just thought it was funny you were about to fall off your chair," replied Harry, a smile playing on his face.

"Ha Ha," said Parvati sarcastically, "I'm watching you Potter."

"Watch me all you want, I'm simply irresistible," said Harry, and Parvati stuck her tongue out at him and turned around once more.

"Asshole," said Ron playfully to Harry.

"Yeah, I know," said Harry, balling up another piece of paper. "You want to give it a try?"

"No, I think she might kill me if she sees me," replied Ron, uncrossing his arms and scooting his chair closer to the table they shared. He rubbed his eyes and observed as Harry threw another paper ball at Parvati, but missed, hitting Neville in the eye. Neville stood up with such force he knocked the table over, which landed on Seamus and Dean at the next table. Seamus fell out of his chair, flailing his arms wildly trying to grab hold of something and instead grabbing on to Dean, bringing him down with him. Meanwhile Neville had tripped over a spare bean bag chair on the floor and crashed into a shelf of teacups. The teacups fell on the floor, some bonking him on the head, and shattered. 

"Oh shit," said Harry, sinking down in his chair and pretending to read his book as though nothing happened while the entire class burst out laughing. Professor Trelawney sat in her rocking chair, mouth hanging open, seemingly unable to move.

"Mr. Longbottom!" she yelled finally, standing up and looking indignant. "What is the matter with you?!?!"

"Something hit me in the eye, Professor," said Neville, standing up and rubbing his head.

"All this commotion because something hit you in the eye?" said Professor Trelawney, not believing his story.

"I'm sorry, Professor, I'll clean it up," said Neville, getting on his hands and knees, picking the glass up off the floor, cutting himself. Professor Trelawney put her hands on her head, silently asking for patience.

"Drop the glass, I'll take care of that, Mr. Longbottom. Go to the hospital wing and get you hand fixed up and come right back," she said, taking out her wand and fixing the teacups. Dean, Parvati, and Seamus flipped the overturned table and picked up the books they had dropped from the floor.

"Wow," said Ron, looking at Harry, who was bright red and looked like he wanted to disappear from the face of the planet, even though nobody knew he had done it. 

"I didn't mean to do that, it was a mistake," said Harry, straightening up and placing his book on the table.

"I know, but that was hilarious," said Ron, cracking a smile. 

"Nothing can ruin today, not even the destruction of half a classroom," said Harry, sighing.

"Why is that?" asked Ron, even though he already knew. He wasn't even sure he wanted to hear what Harry had to say, but asked anyway.

"I told Hermione I loved her, and she said she liked me too," said Harry, a huge smile appearing on his face.

"Oh really?" said Ron, trying to act surprised even though he already knew this. "What about Ginny?"

"What do you mean 'What about Ginny'? It's over between her and me," replied Harry. He hadn't thought about Ginny for one second…not that he really had to.

"She won't take it lightly when she sees you have a new girlfriend, mate. I know her," said Ron, playing around with his quill. Harry rolled his eyes and sighed once more.

"Ginny can't just expect me not to be with somebody else because she's still obsessed with me. I gave it a try with her and it didn't work out, so I broke up with her," said Harry, writing inside his divination book. An idea flickered in Ron's mind and he smiled inwardly.

"Ginny and Hermione are best friends, Harry. You are seriously willing to turn them against each other?" asked Ron.

"I think Ginny will take it okay, she's a big girl. She'll understand," said Harry, trying to convince himself more than Ron. He started to feel a bit worried and thought that maybe being with her wasn't a good idea, for the sake of Ginny and Hermione's friendship. 

"I don't know, I guess we'll just have to see," said Ron, feeling amused. He had done his job. Harry looked worried and distracted, just the way he wanted him to be. At least now he would be thinking about what he was doing instead of having his head in the clouds. The bell rang for the second time that day, signaling the end of class. Ron swung his bag over his shoulder and left the classroom, Harry following close behind.

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            The Great Hall was packed with hungry students ready to eat lunch. Harry followed Ron to where Hermione was sitting, a book open on her lap, not even touching her lunch. Harry sat next to her and Ron sat next to him. She looked completely distracted so Harry instead served himself some steak and kidney pie and waited patiently for her to finish. Ron, who usually had a humungous appetite, picked up a bread roll and began to eat. Hermione finished reading the last paragraph of the chapter and put it in her bag. She picked up her fork and commenced to eat her food, ignoring the fact that Harry and Ron had already joined her at the table. Truth was, she was kind of nervous about talking to Harry. After thinking it over during her Arithmancy class, she wasn't even sure she made the right choice. What if she couldn't love Harry? She would end up disappointing and hurting him, which wasn't something she wanted to do.  Harry, distractedly eating his lunch, was also wondering if this was the right thing to do. What Ron had said had gotten to him. Maybe he should just find someone else and not cause any rivalry between Hermione and Ginny. He was also thinking that his life was in danger, with the choice being either Voldemort surviving or him. If something happened to him he didn't want Hermione to suffer because of it.

"Hey Hermione," said Harry, choosing to speak first. She turned her head to look at him and smiled.

"Hey Harry." she replied, not being able to find anything else to say. A long silence followed, while each of them tried to think about what to say. 

"I think we need to talk," said Harry finally. 

"Yes, we do. But not here. There are too many people," she said, looking around.

"Come with me," said Harry, standing up. "We'll be right back, okay Ron?"

"Sure," said Ron, taking another bite of his roll.

            Hermione followed Harry around the corridors. She assumed he was looking for an empty classroom to talk in and wondered why he didn't head to The Room of Requirement. A million things were running through her mind as she walked with him. She felt kind of shy even though she reminded herself that this was Harry, her friend she had known for years. Harry was trying to make up his mind on whether or not to go through with this and if his love for Hermione was strong enough that he felt the need to break a friendship. Even though if the friendship breaks it technically wouldn't be his fault because Ginny would be the one to destroy it with her unthoughtfulness. He reached the empty classroom he had been looking for and opened it, letting Hermione walk in first. She sat down on top of a student desk and waited for Harry to lock the door behind him. They were silent for a few minutes and then Harry spoke, again being the one to start a conversation.

"I meant what I said in the note," he said, thinking it was a good way to start the conversation.

"I know you did. I meant what I said too," said Hermione, knowing she was lying a bit. Harry sighed and sat down in the chair at the teacher's desk. He put his head in his hands and sighed. Hermione stayed silent, not really having anything to say about it.

"There's something I have to tell you, Hermione…" 

**To Be Continued**

**(CLIFFHANGER)**

(A/N: Another 15 reviews and I'll post.)

       


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes to some of my reviewers**:

**Sweet Preserves**: Thanks for catching the mistake… I should have known it was a Healer.

**Pretti-Ducki**: The reason I ask for 15 reviews is because it buys me time to write. I like to put a lot of detail in my stories and I need all the time I can get. Between school and homework it's kind of hard to make a 10 page chapter in 2 days. 

**February Lane**: I was kind of growing impatient also, so thanks.

~*~Thanks to my reviewers and if you have a question leave it in a review~*~

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**Chapter 3**

****

"There's something I have to tell you, Hermione…" began Harry, coming to a resolution that would leave him at peace with his conscience.

"What is it?" asked Hermione curiously, unsure of what he was about to say. She feared that he had changed his mind, although that would make her feel a lot better and with fewer things to worry about. 

"I know Ginny is your best friend," he said, picking out his words carefully. "It didn't work out between her and me. You know that, don't you?"

"What does that have to do with anything right now?" asked Hermione, a bit impatiently, even though she knew where he was headed.

"I know Ginny is a very jealous person who is obsessed with me and she'll think you are betraying her if you become my girlfriend," said Harry, staring intently at Hermione. She stared back at him and began to process what he said. True, Ginny was her best friend but she would have to understand, wouldn't she? After all, she had told Hermione during her fourth year that she didn't have a crush on Harry anymore and then in a blink of an eye she announces she is crushing over him and his official girlfriend. She would have to learn to get over it once more. 

"You have a point," said Hermione finally. "It would destroy her, but it's not betrayal. I didn't promise her anything."

"And you would want to destroy her?" asked Harry, trying to see if there was an evil, inhuman, cruel side to Hermione. He doubted it though. She would lay her life on the line for her friends. The sorting hat wouldn't have sorted her in Gryffindor otherwise.

"Who gave you this idea anyways?" said Hermione crossing her arms. "Because I KNOW you didn't think this up on your own."

"Are you saying I don't have the mental capacity to ponder my surroundings?" replied Harry, a bit offended.

"No, I'm just saying that it's not like you to analyze other people's feelings so deeply," she said, and suddenly realization dawned upon her. "Did Ron put this idea in your head?"

"He told me to consider it," said Harry, and he too realized something. Ron cared for his sister but never supported her obsession. Why would he decide to defend her all of a sudden when Harry was getting with Hermione? And even when he had waved off the thought, Ron had kept on pressing it deeper into his mind, as though he never wanted him to forget it. Of course, he couldn't prove anything, but he was suspicious. 

"Well I can understand that Ron is worried about his sister…" said Hermione, more to herself than to Harry. Something deep down in her gave a jolt of happiness. She also knew that Ron never supported Ginny in her obsession. She also knew that several times he had been on the verge of telling Harry to give it another try with Cho and break up with Ginny. So this _did bug Ron after all. There was something in him deep down that felt love for her, but wherever it was, she knew it would be too deep and difficult to dig out. _

"I can understand it too," lied Harry, snapping Hermione out of her reverie.

"You know what? He's right," said Hermione suddenly, jumping down from the desk she had been sitting on. She headed for the door and Harry, alarmed, stood up from his chair and blocked her exit.

"Harry, move, please. There's nothing to talk about," said Hermione, attempting to push him out of the way. He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked in her large brown eyes.

"I love you Hermione," said Harry and Hermione's gaze wavered a bit. Those were words that had never been spoken to her by someone other than her parents. She hated the fact that she didn't love him back the way he loved her.  She knew this was a futile attempt on her part to try to forget Ron and move on. It had been clear in her mind the minute she handed the note back to Harry. 

"Think of Ginny," she tried, her eyes still focusing elsewhere. 

"Forget Ginny. It's over between her and me. Let her throw a fit if she wants to," wheedled Harry.

"She's my friend."

"I'M your friend too."

"It's different," retorted Hermione, trying to loosen herself from his grip.

"Yeah, you're right. It is different. And I'll show you why," said Harry, grabbing her around the waist and planting a kiss firmly on her lips. When he let her go, she stumbled backwards, her knees weak. She stared at him and began to think that maybe things could work out with Harry. Maybe all her heart had to do was give him a chance. With this thought she walked towards him, pushed his back against the door, and returned the kiss.

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            Ginny sat in front of her vanity mirror in her dormitory, slowly combing her flowing red hair that reached her waist. She found herself staring at her green eyes and admiring them, like Harry had admired them once. She missed him very much. Ginny remembered how last summer in at Burrow he had sat with her in the backyard and bonded with her. She shared things about herself and he talked about his life. With every conversation she slowly began to evolve another crush on him, stronger than the last one. And how she treasured the day he had asked her to be his girlfriend. She felt she was the queen of the whole world while she was with him. While in the Room of Requirement, which always seemed to be filled with lighted candles and bean bag chairs when they entered it, she and him would share their thoughts on various subjects. Sometimes they would make out, but most of the time they just talked. One day she gradually began to notice he was losing interest in her, and she tried several methods to regain his complete attention. She did everything but offer her body because she wasn't a whore and she considered that wrong. He began to miss secret meetings with her, and then he didn't walk her to her classes anymore, until finally he avoided her whenever possible. 

            She never gave up on him even though it was evident he didn't want to be with her anymore. One day she sat in the Room of Requirement, desperate and crying, when he walked in, shutting the door firmly behind him. She remembered dread seep into her skin like poison. He broke up with her at that moment, telling her he didn't want her to suffer because of him and that they were better off each going their own separate way. She fought back, telling him she loved him but his answer only pierced her heart. He said that she was an interesting person to talk to and that she was fun, but there was nothing else. He didn't love her back. She cried for a week, and after that she stopped. She realized he wasn't with anyone and that maybe…just maybe…she had a chance. Ginny blinked her eyes a few times, trying to pull out of a painful flashback. She noticed that her green eyes were welling up with tears, but she held them back and soon they dried up. Parvati came bursting into her dormitory at that moment, flopping down on her bed.

"Hey Ginny," she said, lying on her stomach on Ginny's bed.

"Hey," said Ginny, pulling out a butterfly pin from the pocket of her robe and fastening it neatly in her hair. She pulled out her make up so she could do a little touchup on her gloss.

"You won't BELIEVE what I heard in Divination today," said Parvati, swinging her legs up and down like an impatient toddler. 

"Must you get so attached to me now that your best friend croaked?" asked Ginny rudely, picking out a lip gloss from the many she owned. Parvati's face darkened and she sat up.

"You know I'm trying not to think about that," she said in a sad tone.

"Hence the fake giddiness."

"I can't walk around with a sad face. I hate pity. Lavender was the one who loved it," said Parvati, pulling her hair out of the messy ponytail she has it in. Her hair was shoulder length and black, though she wished it was an exotic red like Ginny's.

"Whatever," said Ginny, wanting to drop the conversation. "So what did you hear in Divination?"

"Well, Harry was talking with Ron," said Parvati slowly. She wanted to draw the best anger reaction from Ginny possible, out of cruelty.

"Yes, well they talk all the time. No surprise there," said Ginny, applying her gloss while staring at her reflection in her mirror.  

"I heard Harry say he told Hermione he loved her," Parvati said. Ginny dropped what she had been holding and slowly turned to face her.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm serious."

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said regarding your friend dying but this is going too far!" said Ginny, going pale. 

"I'm not kidding. That's what Harry said."

"Did he say what Hermione said? I know she would never do that to me. She wouldn't dare," said Ginny, frantically standing up and commencing to pace the room.

"You trust that bitch too much," said Parvati, looking smug.

"She's my best friend and she deserves that trust. She would never do that to me," she said, trying to convince herself. Finally she sat back down and put her head in her hands, not the reaction Parvati expected. She was going more along the lines of Ginny kicking Hermione's ass.

"Hermione's my friend. I trust her and that's that," said Ginny, swinging her school bag over her shoulder and leaving the dormitory. Parvati laid down in Ginny's bed and stretched, quite pleased with her ability to eavesdrop on valuable conversations. 

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            The curiosity was killing Ron, who was sitting in Transfiguration waiting for Harry and Hermione to arrive. A bit of deeper thinking had made him think that maybe they were made for each other but they aren't opposites. If anything, they are as similar as twins. Hermione has a strong attitude and determination that pushes her along. She is smart and is never afraid to show it. Harry has similar characteristics and one that Ron could never understand. No matter what you're doing, if Harry's in the room, you can feel his presence as if power were emanating from him. Ron thought this was extremely creepy but never mentioned anything to him. Just as Ron was thinking that Harry and Hermione were going to be late, they ran into the classroom. He noticed, to some mild discomfort, that they were holding hands. She wore a big smile, which Ron thought was fake, and not because he wanted it to be fake but because it really was. She looked like a fish out of water. Harry was the one with the genuine smile. He looked as if the best thing in the world had happened to him. They sat down, Hermione next to Ron and on her right was Harry. She took out her books and laid them in front of her as always and folded her hands on top of them.

"What took you guys so long?" asked Ron, talking more to Harry than to Hermione.

"We had to go get out books. We left them in the Great Hall," answered Hermione, not looking at Ron, but rather at her hands. 

"Yeah, guess what?" said Harry excitedly. _"Don't say anything Harry, please…" thought Hermione but she knew it was pointless. Harry was going to shout it out to the whole entire world before she could do anything about it._

"What?" said Ron, already knowing what was coming and bracing himself.

"Hermione and I are a couple," said Harry, putting his arm around her. Ron saw her stiffen up a bit but then relax.

"Congratulations," said Ron, showing the best smile he could muster at such a moment. Hermione turned her head look at him and their eyes met for a moment so he adverted his gaze. After a moment she returned to staring at her hands until Professor McGonagall walked in with a broom in one hand and a mini cauldron in another.

"Silence please," spoke McGonagall, and the class stopped talking and paid attention.

"Today we will transform brooms into snakes and cauldrons into pumpkins. Pick a person from your table to come up here and get one broom and a cauldron," she said, motioning to a table next to her desk, piled up with the supplies. Harry got up and strode along to the table along with a few others.

"He asked you to be his girlfriend?" Ron turned to Hermione suddenly. She jumped in her seat and turned to face him. She again looked deep into his eyes, but this time trying to analyze something he didn't know.

"Yes, he did? Aren't you happy for me?" said Hermione, giving him a fake smile. He gave her his trademark grin a laughed.

"I'm glad you're happy about it. You'll be the most talked about couple in Hogwarts," said Ron, through gritted teeth, but Hermione didn't notice.

"I know," she said, and then she thought of something. "Ron, why did you-"

"I have the stuff," said Harry, putting the cauldron and the broom on the table. He took his seat next to Hermione and once more put his arm protectively around her. 

"Ok, then lets get to work," said Hermione, pulling out her wand and checking her book for the spell even though she knew it by heart. A few moments of silence passed between them and then Ron spoke.

"Are you guys coming to Lavender's funeral tomorrow?" he asked, pretending to be distracted by a carving on his desk. Hermione and Harry looked at each other and then at Ron.

"Of course we are. What did you think? That we were going to leave you by yourself?" said Harry, pulling out his own wand and flipping the pages back and forth on his book with it.

"Thanks," said Ron, actually grateful that he would not have to pass the whole ordeal by himself. Class zoomed by at a quick pace even though it was double transfiguration and, as always, Hermione managed to get the spell before anybody else. Harry was beaming with pride at his girlfriend. Ron could almost throw up in disgust.

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            Ron hated the twist and turns his life took. They were like a roller coaster of emotions. One minute he was all over Lavender, the next he was all over Hermione. He felt awful for it. He had loved Lavender for how similar she had been to him and he liked Hermione for being the complete opposite. He missed Lavender with all his heart and he truly did love her. He was a bit angry at Hermione for making him focus on her and be jealous when he should be mourning the death of his girlfriend. All his energy should be focused on Lavender, because with her died all the hopes he had for the future. He felt disloyal to her when the thought of dreaming up another future with Hermione popped into his mind. He kicked the thought in the ass. Oh, he felt like an asshole. His girl had barely died the day before and he was already thinking about replacing. Maybe he didn't really love her, but that was impossible. He had felt so complete with her, it had to be love. Or maybe a good cover-up for who he really loved. He kicked this thought in the ass too. Ron sat thinking all of this in front of the fireplace in the common room. Gryffindor tower was empty since everyone was at dinner. He wasn't particularly hungry and watching Harry and Hermione made him sick. He heard footsteps descend the staircase to the dormitories and looked up. Ginny stood in the doorway, eyes a bit swollen as though she had been crying, but she wore a serious and slightly murderous expression. She silently walked over to Ron and sat down beside him, crossing her arms and staring at the fireplace.

"Ron, I want a straight answer to my question. So you better give it to me when I ask it, alright?" she said, not taking her eyes off the fireplace. Ron knew what was coming and, frankly, he wasn't up to it. He had other things to worry about than his sister's love life.

"Ginny, not now," he said, letting out an exasperated breath and standing up. 

"Are Hermione and Harry together?" Ginny asked anyway, as her brother climbed the flight of stairs up to his dormitory.

"Ask them yourself!" Ron yelled down, and Ginny heard a door slam. This infuriated her, so she jumped off the couch, ran up the staircase, and went in to the dormitory where Ron slept.

"I'm not going to go asking around. I want the answer from you and I want it now!" she yelled. Ron, who had been standing by the window spun around and pushed her out of the dormitory. He slammed the door in her face.

"I told you Ginny, I don't want to hear shit from you right now," yelled Ron, locking the door. Ginny tried desperately to turn the doorknob but to no avail, so she took out her wand and attempted to unlock it. When that didn't work, she turned her back on the door and gently slipped down until she was sitting on the floor. 

"I don't know why you're turning against me all of a sudden, Ron Weasley!" she said, wiping away the tears that were on her cheeks. A few moments of silence passed, and when she saw Ron didn't come out, she stood up and left. 

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            Harry lay in bed, thoughts running through his mind. He was thinking about everything he had done during the day, analyzing each piece. He tended to do that a lot and he didn't know why. His thoughts wandered over to Divination, and chuckled a bit as he thought about what happened to Neville. Then he thought about the conversation he had with Ron. Ron had been acting pretty suspicious. It was almost as if he had been trying to prevent him from getting with Hermione. It still seemed pretty suspicious that Ron had tried to pull a whole bunch of "buts" on him. He had been one of the first ones to support Harry during his breakup with Ginny. Ron had always said that Ginny's obsession over Harry was not healthy. Why would he all of a sudden want to ignite that obsession all over again? Was it maybe because he would get some benefit out of it? Harry hated the thought that maybe he was doing it because he felt something for Hermione. He tried to push the thought out of his mind, trying to convince himself with the fact Ron loved Lavender and he wouldn't dare be with someone else so soon after her death. After all, Ron had said that he couldn't love anybody but Lavender, but things change. Harry turned over on his side and ran his fingers over the quilt on his bed. That's when he remembered about something that had happened a long time ago during his fifth year…something that made him angry…

*~*Flashback*~*

            The weather was stormy outside and Quidditch practice had been cancelled. It was difficult to see the quaffle and the bludgers and when half the team had had accidents, they called it quits. The team decided to have a party in the locker room for no apparent reason but Harry, not feeling in a party mood, decided to head back up to the castle. The lightening bolts crashed behind him as he shut the large wooden entrance doors to Hogwarts. He tried to get to the common room as quickly as possible so Filch wouldn't see him tracking mud and water in the halls. When he reached the portrait hole, the Fat Lady, who had been reading a book, looked up at him in disgust and asked for the password. Harry muttered it tiredly and walked into the common room and up the flight of stairs to the boys dormitory. He stopped suddenly in front of the door to his room when he heard a female voice giggling inside, and then a male voice laughing. He slowly turned the doorknob and opened the door only a crack, just to peek inside. He was surprised to see Ron and Hermione sitting on Ron's bed studying, because they always did their studying in the common room. Harry listened closely to their conversation.

"It's called 'gillyweed' not 'sillyweed'," said Hermione, laughing again. She wiped tears of laughter away from her eyes and turned the page in what Harry supposed was her Herbology text book. 

"Ok, sorry," said Ron, leaning towards her and looking in her book.

"This next thing we have to learn about is the 'Hypnotizing Flower'," said Hermione, pointing at the picture on the page.

"Why do they call it that?" 

"Well, it's because it is so beautiful that you get hypnotized by it. You can't stop staring at it unless someone rips it out of the ground and then the flower turns into a weed. All ugly and nasty," explained Hermione.

"I bet girls are dying to be like that flower," joked Ron, and Hermione threw a pencil at him.

"I don't let yourself be mislead by beauty. I think that what counts is what is on the inside," she said, jotting down notes on parchment.

"But it's hard to find someone who is both beautiful on the inside and on the outside."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is," said Ron.

"No, it's not," pressed Hermione, distracted.

"Why aren't you paying attention to me," said Ron, snatching away the parchment. Hermione tried to take it back but he waved it away from her.

"Give it back Ron," said Hermione, knocking the books off the bed in a struggle to get her paper back. They wrestled around a bit until Ron pinned Hermione down on the bed with one hand and sat on her, one leg on each side. Hermione tried sitting up but Ron was too strong, and she started laughing. Harry seethed with jealousy and wanted to push Ron off her. 

"You're heavy, get off of me before you squash me to death!" said Hermione, trying to push him off. 

"Well, finally you're paying attention to me!" said Ron, throwing his full weight on her and she laughed. He dropped the parchment on the floor and grabbed both her wrists, pinning her now with his whole body.

"Ron, I can barely breathe, get off," said Hermione, laughing. Ron's face had gone serious and her eyes met with his. He placed a kiss on her lips and searched her eyes for resistance and, when he saw none, he proceeded to give her the most intense kiss Harry had ever seen. Harry clenched his hands so hard, his nails dug into his palms and drew out blood. He saw as Ron and Hermione sat up, groping each other desperately all over the place, and though he knew he should not watch this private moment, his eyes were glued to the scene. 

"Ron, I don't think we should be doing this…" said Hermione as Ron ripped open her blouse. 

"This isn't wrong Hermione," said Ron, trying to work the clasp on her bra. Hermione pushed him off and got out of the bed, pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I can't do this," Hermione said, shaking her head. Harry was furious and wanted her to cover up from the prying eyes of Ron. How dare Ron make a move on the girl he loved? He had completely forgotten that Ron had a crush on her too. 

"Why can't you do this?" retorted Ron, standing up angrily. 

"It's not right! This is not a level-headed thing to do," she said, buttoning up her blouse.

"For once in your life, can't you just be led by your heart and not your mind?"

"I don't want to get pregnant. I don't want a boyfriend. I need to worry about studying, not about you!" said Hermione, and little did she know that she would come to regret those words when a year later she would be yearning for his touch. Harry didn't take her seriously, because he had always been confident he could change a person's mind.

"I wasted 3 years of my time trying to get with you," said Ron, after a few moments of silence. "The effort didn't pay off."

"The only thing I said was that I don't want a boyfriend now. Maybe in the future-"

"I'm not sure I want to be with you anymore, Hermione," interrupted Ron, and he walked into the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind him. Harry, knowing he had seen enough, walked back downstairs to the common room and waited for one of them to come down. He heard the boy's dormitory door open and close and then the girl's dormitory door do the same, and he assumed Hermione had gone to her room. Neither of them came downstairs.

*~*End Flashback*~*

            He remembered how hard it was to face Ron and Hermione the following day, and he succeeded in pretending he saw nothing. Harry clutched the quilt in anger and looked over at Ron's empty bed, where the whole incident had happened. He was surprised to find that deep down in his heart he had a little hate for Ron. He was happy that Hermione stopped things before they went further but he could tell that if it hadn't been for the fact that at that time she was worried more about her studies than having a boyfriend, she would have done it with Ron. Harry heard the dormitory door open and turned around to see who had walked in, even though it was dark. It was Ron, who stretched and tossed his jacket on his school trunk and flopped down on his bed. 

"Harry, are you awake?" asked Ron, looking over at Harry's bed.

"Not really," lied Harry, faking a sleepy voice.

"Oh ok, so I'll see you in the morning then," said Ron, putting his hands behind his head and looking up at the ceiling. Harry looked at him and a hate he had never known before surged through him. He decided at that moment that he'd be damned if he let Ron have Hermione.

To Be Continued….

(A/N: You know the drill, 15 more reviews and I'll post the next chapter!!! Thank you to all who are reading this story!!!)


	4. Chapter 4

(A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been having family problems and other such nasty things. I'll try to update more often. Oh, and that anonymous Tiffany person who wrote the comment "Forget it people. She aint gonna update anymore"- Keep those kind of comments to yourself; it was not a review about the story but a review about ME. And you don't know me and you cannot read my mind. For the rest of you patient people, ENJOY! ;)  ) 

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**Chapter 4**

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            Hermione woke up for the funeral on Thursday rather early. She went down to the Great Hall to have some breakfast and wait for Harry on Ron. They were to go to Professor Dumbledore's office at about 8 in the morning to get a portkey to the mortuary. She figured it had to be about 6 right now, so she poured herself some coffee and sat back, watching her fellow early bird peers get in some last minute studying. Hermione spotted Draco Malfoy, who turned out to be very studious indeed. He was flipping through his Defense Against the Dark Arts book and jotting down notes on a piece of parchment. She hated to admit it, but he had turned very handsome during the summer and the girls were all over him- but would they feel the same if they knew that under those school robes and loose fitting gangster pants he wore thongs with little hearts on them because they made him feel "special"? That was something to think about. She took a sip of her coffee and glanced at the entrance to the hall. Hermione was rather surprised to see Parvati walk in, stretching and yawning in an arrogant fashion, as though she was the queen of the world. She spotted Hermione and walked over, taking a seat across from her and smoothing her hair with her hands.    

"Hello, Hermione," said Parvati, giving her a classic up-to-no-good smile.

"What do you want, Parvati?" said Hermione, who was not in the mood for her bullshit this morning.

"Oh nothing, I was just strolling around the castle. I couldn't sleep last night."

"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready for Lavender's funeral?" asked Hermione, disinterested. 

"I'm not going. My parents thought it would be better for me to stay," said Parvati, tensing up a bit.

"Some friend you are. You weren't even there when she was sick. You just went to hang out with your other friends," Hermione said rather rudely, but she rather enjoyed spitting the truth in people's faces. 

"Is there a conspiracy against me or something? Everyone's been treating me like shit since yesterday," she said, offended.

"That's purely your fault. If you act like shit, people are going to treat you like shit. It's a simple rule to learn, really."

"I wouldn't be talking about who's shit if I were you, Hermione Granger," said Parvati, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms lightly. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Hermione, setting her cup down.

"You're betraying Ginny. She's your best friend and you know how much she loves Harry and you go and become his girlfriend. So who's shit now? You or me?" she said in a self-aggrandizing way.

"Where did you found out about me and Harry?"

"Ron told me," Parvati said. 

"And you went and told Ginny, I suppose."

"No, I barely heard this last night. However, I DID tell Ginny that Harry told you he loved you. I overheard him telling the story to Ron in Divination and thought Ginny should know."

"Why don't you mind your own fucking business and stop making trouble?" said Hermione, standing up.

"I'm not making trouble, I'm defending my friend," retorted Parvati.

"She's not your friend, she was never your friend, and she's never going to BE your friend because you're a lying self-absorbed bitch," said Hermione through gritted teeth.

"And you're a know-it-all bookworm slut!" yelled Parvati, standing up to face her. Hermione picked up the pumpkin juice jug and threw it at Parvati, drenching her. Parvati, taken aback by surprise, tripped over the bench she was sitting on and fell.

"Cat fight!!!" yelled Draco from across the Great Hall. Everyone had stopped to look at them with wide eyes.

"Shut the fuck up, Malfoy!" yelled Hermione, rounding on him furiously.  

"You want to say that to my face?" said Draco, walking over to stand in front of her.

"I said 'Shut the fuck up'. You want me to spell it out for you, idiot?" said Hermione, shocked at herself and at her language and attitude. 

"Filthy mudblood," said Draco, pulling out his wand and pointing it at her. Hermione took hers out and pointed it at him.

"You don't have the guts to put a spell on me, Malfoy!" challenged Hermione, pushing her hair out of her face.

"No one is going to put a spell on anyone, Ms. Granger," said Professor McGonagall from behind Hermione. She dropped her wand to her side and turned to face her professor.

"I'm so sorry Professor," said Hermione, but McGonagall ignored her. She had a disappointed look on her face.  

"I would have expected better behavior from you, Ms. Granger. I am ashamed of you. As for you, Mr. Malfoy, you know better than to call anyone a mudblood."

"Sorry, Professor. It won't happen again," said Draco, who had also lowered his wand. 

"Twenty points shall be deducted from each of you, Mr. Malfoy and Ms. Granger. And I'll see you in detention on Wednesday in my classroom," said Professor McGonagall sternly. She turned around and left without saying another word. Hermione glared at Malfoy for a moment and then stalked out of the Great Hall to find Harry and Ron.

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"Are you ready yet, Ron?" asked Harry, sitting by the window waiting for Ron, who was in the bathroom getting dressed.

"Wait a second, will you?" yelled Ron.

"I've been waiting for fifteen minutes. How long does it take you to put on pants and a shirt?" protested Harry, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. The door to the bathroom swung open and Ron walked out, looking a bit peeved. 

"Ok, I'm ready, lets go look for Hermione," said Ron, rushing out of the dormitory. Harry scrambled up and followed him. They walked in silence out the portrait hole and towards the Great Hall. They spotted Hermione going the opposite direction and she would have passed right by without noticing them if Harry had not grabbed her arm.

"Whoa, where are you going?" asked Harry, and noticed that Hermione's eyes were red and blotchy, as though she had been crying. 

"What's wrong?" asked Ron immediately. 

"Parvati insulted me and I threw pumpkin juice at her and then Malfoy insulted me and I got detention!" said Hermione, bursting out crying. 

"PMS is a horrible thing," said Harry, shaking his head. 

"It's not PMS. I'm just having a rough morning," said Hermione, calming down a bit. Harry was rubbing her back lightly and Ron was just standing there, a far off look in his eyes.

"We better get going before we're late," said Harry, and nudged Ron out of his stupor. Ron nodded his head and Harry led the way to Dumbledore's office. The gargoyle stood at the entrance, as always.

"Sugar Quill," said Harry, and the gargoyle opened to reveal the revolving staircase. They stepped onto it and it took them up to Dumbledore's over-decorated office. The portraits on the walls were sound asleep and the sorting hat lay on the topmost bookshelf, as always. Harry remembered the last time he had been in the office. He didn't like to think about it much, because it was when Sirius had been killed. As always, Professor Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, hands folded in front of him.

"Good morning Professor," said Harry, nodding courtly. 

"Well it's about time," said Dumbledore, standing up and walking to a rather large metal cabinet. He popped open a couple of drawers and took out a small box. Before he gave it to them, though, he looked and Ron as though examining him and making sure he was okay. Hermione didn't blame him, he looked horrible. Not horribly dressed, but emotionally worn out in a horrible way.

"Mr. Weasley, how are you today?" inquired Dumbledore, handing Harry the small box but not taking his eyes off Ron. 

"I'm okay, thanks," Ron said, but it was obvious he was lying. The two dark half moons under his eyes made him look as if he had had a fight.  

"It's good to hear that," said Dumbledore, a hint of disbelief in his voice. He continued staring at Ron for a couple more seconds and then turned to Harry. It seemed as though he had been reading Ron's thoughts and it gave Hermione the creeps.

"Now here is what you are to do," said Dumbledore after a few moments. He walked back to his desk and sat down. "You are to take this portkey to the mortuary. I have arranged for you to arrive at a place where you will not be seen. At six in the afternoon you are to go to Kings Cross Station and take the train back to school. You will arrive at about ten at night. I trust you will stick to your schedule and that you will make up the work you are going to be missing."

"But I don't have any-" started Ron.

"The tickets to Kings Cross Station are in the box," said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye. "Now will you please step outside for a second, Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger? I want to have a word with Mr. Potter before you depart."

"Sure Professor," said Hermione, grabbing Ron by the arm and walking out of the office. Harry took a seat in front of the desk and fiddled around with the box. Dumbledore waited until he heard the click of the door before beginning.

"Harry, I know you are Ron's best friend," began Dumbledore slowly, "and I am pleased to see that you are sticking by him and helping him through these bad times. Mr. Weasley has not looked his best these past days. I ask that you take good care of him while at the mortuary."

"Of course I will. I've been helping him get though this ever since the day he walked into the common room and announced that Lavender died," said Harry. To his surprise, deep down he felt a sort of anger towards Ron. Maybe it was because of what he had been thinking last night about him still liking Hermione. He felt an evil side of himself peek out but quickly suppressed it and maintained a somber expression.

"I'm glad you will. That's all I wanted to tell you. You may tell your friends to come in again," said Dumbledore. Harry stood up and opened the door. He saw Hermione hugging Ron with her eyes closed and tears streaming down her cheeks, as though they had just had a moment. Even though he knew he shouldn't be jealous, he felt his face turn red and his jaw clench.

"Hey, when you two are done trying to suffocate yourselves you can come back in," said Harry in the most playful voice he could. Hermione, surprised to see Harry, stepped away from Ron and smiled while wiping away her tears. He noticed that Ron's eyes were red as though he had been crying. He felt sorry for him but he was still a little annoyed. Ron stepped back into the office first and then went Hermione, followed by Harry. 

            Hermione opened the little box and handed Ron and Harry a train ticket and placed hers in her purse. They said goodbye to Dumbledore and touched the portkey at the same time. They were out of sight in half a second and Dumbledore let out a sigh. Even at his old age he did not understand why God would let such a good child suffer. Ron Weasley, if anything, deserved happiness. He wished that after this there would be cheer for the boy. A knock on the door disturbed his thoughts and he looked up off his desk. He rubbed his eyes and beckoned the person to enter. Professor McGonagall walked in, closing the door firmly behind her.

"Good morning Albus," said McGonagall, stepping up to his desk.

"Minerva," said Dumbledore in form of greeting. "How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you… Though I just gave Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy a detention for almost cursing themselves to another planet," she said, putting a hand on her forehead. 

"What happened?"

"I don't really know, but I heard that Ms. Granger was arguing with Ms. Patil and Mr. Malfoy started picking on them and she got angry. I don't know what Ms. Patil and Ms. Granger were arguing about though, and I'm not sure I want to know."

"I can take a guess Minerva, but I hope I am wrong because the outcome could be disastrous," said Dumbledore.

"What do you think is going on?"

"I rather not say at the moment. I do not want to interfere in something that may teach them a lesson."

"If you say so, Albus. But these are children," said Minerva.

"Yes they are, but they are rapidly becoming adults and must take on those responsibilities. I do not want to deprive them of this opportunity to learn, as I said before," said Dumbledore. He hoped with all his heart he was doing the right thing, and that what he was thinking was not really what was going on.   

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            It had been two hours since they had arrived at the mortuary. Hermione looked around the place, admiring the effort the decorators put to make it nice. Lavender's coffin was a white creamy color and it lay shut on a stand. Next to it was a podium and a bunch of chairs were gathered around where everybody would be sitting in a couple of minutes. The flower decoration was lovely and not overpopulated. Everything was done with perfectly with caring hands. She and Harry stood quietly in a corner, not really knowing anyone there. Ron was speaking with Lavender's muggle parents, Andrew and Eloise Brown. Mrs. Brown was holding on to Mr. Brown's arm as though she might fall if she let go. They had been with Lavender through a great part of the tough time but they did the bigger job of finding doctors, traveling to hospitals, and consulting people. That had taken up a lot of time they could have spent with her. They appreciated everything Ron had done for her and treated him like a son. Lavender was their only child, so this was the worst thing that could have happened in their lives. Ron looked a bit uncomfortable, as though he wanted to leave. He glanced around nervously every once in a while and his gaze often rested a few moments on Hermione before turning back to Lavender's parents.

            When everyone began to sit down, Harry and Hermione took a seat in the very back. A few moments later, Ron took a seat next to Hermione. Harry took her hand and brushed it lightly with his fingers. Hermione zoned out when a person who stepped up to the podium began to talk into the microphone. It was an old man with white hair whom she assumed was Lavender's grandfather but she couldn't be sure. She thought about the hug her and Ron had shared outside Dumbledore's office and how she knew it meant much more than what it seemed. The moment they had stepped out of the office, Hermione had drawn him close and hugged him. They stayed like that in silence for a while because there was no need for words. Tears had welled up in her eyes when she realized that in her arms was the man she loved but could never have. The tears were not of pity for him, but of pity for herself, and she knew that was wrong. Hermione shook herself out of her reverie and realized that Mrs. Brown was about to speak. She had stumbled onto the podium led by her husband. 

"Thank you all for being here today," she spoke quietly into the microphone. She did not make eye contact with her audience, which regarded her with sadness and pity. "Lavender would have been happy to see how many people care about her."

"She looks like she's going to pass out at any moment," whispered Harry in Hermione's ear. He wasn't far from the truth.

"Lavender was such a good girl," said Mrs. Brown, wiping away the tears that had rolled down her cheeks. "She was very studious and attentive. She was just so intelligent. She loved and was loved… she had very good friends, but one in particular she couldn't stop talking about- Ron Weasley, her boyfriend. I have never seen someone care so much for my Lavender as Ron did. He helped us through these rough waters and stayed until the very end, and I would like to thank him for everything. I'm sure that if Lavender would have lived, their love would have lasted forever, but that will not happen now. I will never see Lavender get married, or have children, or be happy…"

            Mrs. Brown broke down into convulsive sobs and dropped to her knees beside the coffin. Mr. Brown was at her side immediately and helped her up. She had to be practically carried to her seat. Hermione turned her glance to Ron who had a stony face. He looked like he was about to have a breakdown. She had never, in all the time she had known him, seen such a distant expression. Before she could say anything, he stood up abruptly and exited the mortuary. Harry followed closely behind, keeping his promise to Dumbledore. He pushed open the door and spotted Ron descending the stone steps at top speed and ran to catch up with him. Harry grabbed Ron by the arm and swung him around.

"Where are you going? You can't just leave Lavender's funeral like that," said Harry, panting a bit. Ron pulled his arm away from his grasp and looked up at the sky in a pleading manner.

"Why not? Why can't I just leave and forget about all of this?" asked Ron angrily. He kicked the cement step and sat down abruptly, putting his head in his hands.

"Would Lavender have liked you to do that?" questioned Harry, trying very hard for Ron to see reason.

"Lavender's dead. She doesn't think anymore, doesn't breathe anymore, and CAN'T FUCKING LIKE OR DISLIKE!" yelled Ron angrily, although it was a bit muffled by his hand.

"I don't know what you believe, Ron, but I know that there is a God and a heaven and wherever she is she can see you," replied Harry quietly.

"Whatever," said Ron, standing up and pacing. It seemed like he couldn't make up his mind whether to sit down and remain standing. "You're lucky, Harry. You have Hermione… she's alive and she's breathing."

"Obviously. And I AM lucky to have Hermione. You could have had her had you not been such an idiot," said Harry, not believing he had actually voiced the last part. Ron stopped abruptly and stared at him for a couple of seconds in shock before he spoke.

"She didn't want to be with me," he said finally.

"It's not that she didn't want to be with you, it's just that you gave up on her too easy and went to look for someone else. You just happened to stumble upon Lavender," Harry said crossly.

"So are you saying I got with Lavender to get my mind off Hermione?" asked Ron angrily.

"Well to me it sure seemed so and I'm pretty sure it seemed the same to Hermione."

"You're implying I don't love Lavender?" 

"I don't know if you love, or "loved", her but I DO know you love Hermione. You make it so clear," said Harry, feeling a strange fury bubble up in his chest. 

"I don't love Hermione anymore. It was just a crush and it's been gone for a long time now. I don't know why you're bringing it up," said Ron, his anger rising even more, if that was even possible. But deep down he knew he was lying to Harry and to himself. 

"Then why did you try to keep me from getting with her? What the hell did you want?"

"I didn't want you to hurt Ginny," retorted Ron.

"Bullshit, Ron. You couldn't have been happier when I split with her. You only had one intention in your mind, and that was to get with Hermione," yelled Harry. "When you found out she was actually considering being my girlfriend you freaked out because you wanted to be with her. So do you really love Lavender? Can you say you love her after trying to get with someone else so soon after her death?"

"I was not trying to get with Hermione! Keep her, I don't want her! I love Lavender and that's where my devotion lies and it's not going to go to someone else any time soon."

"I don't believe you," said Harry.

"I don't care if you don't believe me or not!!!" yelled Ron. He was so confused and he wanted to be left alone, but Harry only wanted to press the matter further.

"Keep away from Hermione, and I mean it," threatened Harry, pointing a finger at Ron. Just then the door from the mortuary swung open and Hermione walked out, a worried look on her face. She looked from Harry to Ron confusedly because they looked as if they were about to hit each other. 

"What's going on out here?" she asked, walking over to stand by Harry and putting a hand on his shoulder. She noticed that he was furious and extremely tense. The last time she had seen him like this had been when he was about to "kill" Sirius in their third year. 

"Nothing," said Ron, taking a few steps back and staring Harry with malice. He seemed to Hermione like a cornered mouse trying to defend himself. She felt that if she had not come outside in time they would have beaten the pulp out of each other.

"Ask yourself who you really love," said Harry in a low voice, and he walked back into the mortuary. Hermione followed him with her eyes. When she lost sight of him she looked back at Ron, whose expression was very pale.  The curiosity inside her grew with every passing minute. 

"Ron, what happened?" asked Hermione, even though she sensed that she would not be able to get a response out of him. It's hard to get anything out of Ron when he is angry or frustrated. 

"Nothing happened," said Ron shortly, as though he wanted her to go away.

"Tell me, Ron. You guys don't fight for the heck of it," she pressed. 

"Everything's fine, we were just having a discussion about something, that's all," said Ron, pacing on the cement. Hermione was a little chagrined that he did not want to tell her what the situation was. It made her feel left out even though she knew it was none of her business. 

"Fine, whatever," gave up Hermione, turning around and climbing back up the steps. When she realized that he was not following her, she paused and looked down at him. "Are you coming or not?"

"No, I just want to stay out here for a while," he said, and, seeing the hesitant look on her face, added, "I'll be fine, don't worry."

"If you say so. Just don't stay out here too long," she said, and went back inside.

            Ron thought that nobody in the world felt as bad as he did at that moment. He felt like a traitor and a disgusting, horrific person. How could it be that in such a short time he had fallen back in love with Hermione? He thought that had died the moment he became Lavender's boyfriend. Had he been trying to kid himself all along? Did he really get with Lavender because subconsciously he needed to cover up his feelings for Hermione? But then why did he feel so complete with Lavender? He could admit that his time with her had been the best time in his life and he had felt like nothing was missing. These questions buzzed around in his head and it made him want to drive a dagger through himself just to avoid the agony of pondering the answers. One thing was for sure and he had come to accept it. He loved Hermione. The reason he had tried to keep Harry and Hermione apart was not so he wouldn't feel left out and not because he didn't want them to get hurt, but because HE wanted to be with her. This was the truth that made him feel horrible. He felt dirty because he had fallen back in love with Hermione so soon after Lavender's death. Looking up at the blue sky above the mortuary, he admitted his love but decided he would never act upon it. He would try as hard as he could to remain loyal to Lavender because she deserved it. 

**To be Continued…**

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(A/N: I'll update in about 2 weeks. I have a bunch of tests to study for. The story is going to get hot as we go back to Hogwarts, don't worry…)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

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            No matter how much he thought over it, Harry did not like Ron's responses. He had many reasons to suspect him. One suspicious thing he noticed was when Ron said he was lucky to have Hermione. Harry interpreted that to mean that he wished he could be with her. How dare Ron say such a thing in front of him? A second suspicious thing he caught was how nervous Ron got when he mentioned the crush he had for Hermione a long time ago. He had seemed uncomfortable and wouldn't look him in the eye when he said that it was gone and that he loved Lavender. Harry was furious at him. Ron always wanted what he had even though he always had more than Harry. He thought it was selfish of him. Harry understood the crush Ron had on Hermione and he could tolerate it as long as he doesn't act on it. He knew, though, that eventually Ron would act on his feelings. He wasn't going to be blind; he knew there were a bunch of things to love about Hermione, especially if you knew her well. But finder's keepers and Ron would have to accept he lost something. Harry was standing in the hall outside the room where Lavender's casket lay, thinking over these things. He heard the door open and Hermione marched in, looking ticked. She approached him rather quickly and grabbed him hard by the arm, making him wince slightly. 

"Will you please tell me what happened?" she said in a low and dangerous voice. 

"No-" Harry began.

"If you say 'Nothing' I will never speak to you again Harry Potter!" she shrieked. Her eyes were burning with passionate fury and Harry knew he shouldn't mess with her lest she smack him in the face.

"Ron and I had a slight argument, that's all. Nothing to worry about," said Harry, and Hermione let go of him. He felt relief as the blood in his arm continued its circulation. 

"About what?" asked Hermione, pushing her hair behind her ear hastily. 

"About Lavender," lied Harry. "Now will you please calm down? Everything is going to be ok."

"How can I calm down?" she said angrily. "How could you upset Ron on such a day when he needs your support?"

"I didn't upset him, he upset himself. He should get his facts straight."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means he needs to get over himself and move on and stop trying to mess up other peoples lives," responded Harry.

"Ok, you know what?" said Hermione, exasperated. "Whatever. I'm not going to try to solve problems between you two. It's time for you two to grow up."

"I never asked you to intervene, Hermione," said Harry, crossing his arms.

"You don't have to ask me to intervene, I'm supposed to do it on my own if I care for you guys, but this is stressing me out."

"Just calm down. By tomorrow he'll be okay," said Harry, reaching out for Hermione. She took his hand and he drew her into an embrace.

"Fine, I'll calm down," said Hermione. Harry gave her one quick peck on the lips before they went back to Lavender's funeral. In her heart, Hermione knew that all was not going to be okay, but for the time being she was going to ignore it. 

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Ron and Harry did not speak at all for the rest of the time they were at the mortuary or later when they went to the graveyard. Lavender's coffin was lowered into a dark hole as a tall man in a suit said a couple of words. The people launched flowers into her grave and wept, but none as hard as Mrs. Brown, who looked like she wanted to be buried with her daughter. After the man was done speaking, the crowd slowly began to dissipate. Mr. Brown said goodbye to Ron, Hermione, and Harry and guided his wife to their car. Mrs. Brown kept throwing glances back at Lavender's grave until her husband forbade her to do so. Hermione watched them get into the car drive away. She turned back to her friends with a sigh. Harry was leaning casually on a tree next to Lavender's grave and Ron was standing in the same place he had been during the whole burial ceremony. He looked lost and lonely. She wished Harry had enough sense to go up to him and tell him something. At a time like this, he should forget about whatever argument he had with Ron earlier. She didn't say anything, but just stood there and watched both of them for a couple of minutes. Then she realized they had to be at Kings Cross by six and was forced to break the calm silence.

"Ron, we have to leave now," said Hermione, walking up to him. 

"What time is it?"

"It's four-thirty," answered Hermione. "It'll take us a while to get to Kings Cross so it's best we be on our way." 

"Leave with Harry. I'll take another train," said Ron, not looking at her. Hermione noted he was much paler than usual, probably from lack of proper nutrition.

"You don't look well, though. Maybe you ought to leave with us and on our way to the station we could pick up something to eat," said Hermione. "Besides, I don't think Dumbledore will be too happy with you staying behind."

"Do you always have to follow the rules?" Ron said angrily, turning to face her. She noticed his eyes were red with tears and his cheeks were moist.

"No, you know I don't always do that. I just feel like it isn't going to do you well to stare at the coffin all day."

"You don't know what's good for me or what isn't right now."

"Ron, I'm not leaving without you," retorted Hermione, crossing her arms.

"Yes you are because I'm not leaving."

"Then I'm staying too."

"I don't want you to stay," said Ron, his cheeks turning a hue of red. 

"I'm not leaving you here alone," sighed Hermione. She hated when Ron acted like a toddler.

"Hermione, lets just leave. If Ron doesn't want to leave then it's his problem," said Harry, who had stopped leaning on the tree and had decided to cut into the conversation.

"Yes, it's my problem. Now go," Ron said, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back and forth on his heels. Hermione looked from him to Harry and back at him. She closed her eyes for a moment to cool down her anger and walked away from Ron towards the entrance to the cemetery without saying another word. Harry followed her in silence, knowing that if he said anything, she would probably bite his head off.  

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            Hermione stared out the window of the Hogwarts Express, her mind whirling with thoughts. Harry had fallen asleep, his head resting on her shoulder. With the movement of the train it lolled back and forth like a limp doll. She hadn't wanted to leave Ron behind, who knows what he would do at such a time. He could even be suicidal. Her body went ice cold at the thought of that and she quickly shook it off. Ron would never try to kill himself, he was smarter than that. He knew that life would go on. At least she hoped he did. Hermione was so distracted with her thoughts that she didn't notice that the weight had been lifted off her left shoulder. Harry prodded her lightly with one finger and she turned her head to look at him. His hair was messy with sleep and he had a wide grin. He looked at her lovingly, just like Ron looked at Lavender. Just like she had hoped Ron would look at her. She gave a weak smile back and fluffed his hair.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Harry, taking hold of her hand and laying a gentle kiss on it.

"Homework," she lied.

"Well I'm sure you won't have much to do when we get back to school," said Harry, putting her hand down. A lengthy pause followed and he looked her in the eyes. "You know, for a moment there I thought you were thinking about Ron."

"I was, but I managed to convince myself that he'll be alright," said Hermione. At that moment she learned that one lie does lead to another.

"He needs get on with his life."

"Well you have to understand that it's difficult for him. He and Lavender were nearly attached to the hip. He loved her."

"I'm not so sure about that," said Harry in a low voice.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, seriously, what did you say," questioned Hermione.

"I said I'm sure he did," lied Harry, mostly to avoid problems. Hermione smiled and he pulled her up into his lap. She was startled by the sudden change and stiffened.

"Calm down," he said, kissing her on the cheek and locking her in an embrace. She tried and finally loosened up, her back leaning on his chest. They stayed like that for a long time and she felt surprisingly safe

"Harry?" Hermione said, breaking the silence.

"Yes?"

"What would you do if I died?" she asked, wondering what he would answer.

"I would die. There's no point in living if you're not there to lighten up my life," Harry responded with sincerity. She wished with all her heart that some day she would love him like that, because this was very selfish. She loved her the way she loved Ron. Not that she wouldn't give her life for Harry – he was one of her greatest friends – but it would be in a much different way.

"I'm not worth it," said Hermione, turning her body around to face him. He looked a bit shocked.  

"You're worth that and much more," he said, holding her closer to him. She focused her gaze on the red carpet of the train as tears slid slowly down her cheeks. Harry pushed her hair back and tilted her chin towards him. He kissed her soft lips and she closed her eyes, savoring his love. 

"Thank you," she said. It was the first time anyone had ever told her what she was worth to them and it touched her. Her parents told her they loved her, but never told her she was important. She began to think that if she had been this important to Ron, he would have never given up on her. Hermione began to doubt he even liked her. She was shaken out of her reverie as Harry deepened the kiss and pushed her back onto the seat. She noticed that he got more passionate with each passing second and when his hands went to the front of her blouse she pulled away from him.

"Stop Harry," she said, backing away from him slightly and putting her head in her hands.

"What's wrong?"

"Well, it's just that I don't think we should be attempting to _that_ in the train," said Hermione, slightly embarrassed. "I mean, anybody could walk in."

"Oh," said Harry, laughing at her. She lifted her head and smiled back. 

"Sorry," she said, sighing.

"Don't be. You think of everything," he said, caressing her cheek. "That's one of the many reasons I love you."

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            Hermione walked up to the Gryffindor Common Room by herself. Harry had stayed behind to talk to Seamus and Neville, who were having snacks because they couldn't sleep, so she had decided to head off to bed. She didn't want to get in trouble for being out of bed at such a late hour. After all, tomorrow would be a busy day with her having to make up homework and catch up on notes. It was late, nearly eleven-thirty, and the shadows caused by the brightly lit torches were dancing on the walls. She doubted anyone would be up in the common room at such a time. She whispered the password and the portrait swung open. Hermione stepped in the room and stretched. It was then she noticed that someone was watching her from a corner, hidden in the shadows. She took a couple of steps forward and when her eyes adjusted to the light of the fireplace she saw that it was Ginny. She had her arms crossed and was glaring at her maliciously. This was unlike her, and it scared Hermione.

"Ginny, what are you doing up so late?" she asked, trying to seem as unfazed as possible. Her eyes dug into Hermione, staring at her as though wishing she would burst into flames. If humans could let out steam, Hogwarts would be full of it by now. 

"I don't think that worries you much," Ginny said, standing up and walking out of the shadows. Hermione unknowingly took a step back. Deep down she was afraid. She had an inkling feeling that she was upset about Harry.

"Why wouldn't it worry me? You're my friend." She instantly came to regret what she said. 

"Oh! So NOW I'm your friend?!?!" yelled Ginny furiously. Hermione jumped at the sound of the yell, wishing she had waited for Harry, although, after thinking about it, that would have been a bad idea. She longed to go upstairs and get away from this but she knew she would eventually have to face the music.

"Look, Ginny, if this is about Harry-" She was forced to duck as Ginny flung a glass vase at her head. It shattered on the wall directly behind Hermione.

"This IS about Harry. How could you do this to me? YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM, TRAITOR BITCH!" Ginny picked up a rather heavy statue of a lion off of a table and hurled it at Hermione, causing her once more to stoop out of its way. This was getting too violent and she feared that if it wasn't stopped soon, there would be fatal disaster.

"Stop it, Ginny. It's not my fault he's not with you anymore!"

"Yes it is! He left me because you seduced him!"

"I never seduced him! I'm not like that and you know it!" responded Hermione angrily.

"I don't know what you're like. I thought you would never conspire against me like that, and look now! I trusted you too much. I didn't believe Parvati when she told me, but when the rest of the school was gossiping about it I had to believe it! I should have treated you like what you are. A BITCH!" yelled Ginny, her chest heaving furiously from all the shouting. 

"Parvati never minds her own business," she muttered.

"Did you think I would never find out? If it weren't for friends like Parvati, people like YOU would take advantage of the world!"

"People like Parvati? HA! You don't even know her, so I would shut up if I were you," said Hermione, getting angrier by the second. If she had to take this crap one more minute, she would end up flinging something at Ginny just to make her stop talking. 

"At least she's honest."

"She's honest because she loves causing trouble, otherwise she would have kept her mouth shut."

"Whatever, fuck Parvati. I'm only telling you ONE THING – leave Harry alone or you'll pay," said Ginny, and with that last remark she walked out of the common room and into the dark halls of Hogwarts. 

Hermione wasn't even going to bother telling her she couldn't be out there so late. If she got in trouble it served her right. With a sigh, she sat on the couch and commenced to cry. They weren't tears of sadness; they were of anger and frustration. She hated fighting with people and today had started with her cussing out Malfoy and ended with ducking away from Ginny throwing inanimate objects at her head. She just wanted the day to end but she knew that wouldn't solve anything. Only time could heal serious wounds, and Ginny's would take longer than a couple of hours to mend itself. 

************************************************************************

            The corridors were dark and uninviting. Ginny had no other choice but to be out there because she didn't want to see Gryffindor Tower. She didn't want to see Hermione or Harry, or even her brother. They had all turned against her, as she always suspected they would. It had constantly been the three of them with no room for her. Ginny thought at one time that being friends with Hermione included her in the circle but she was wrong. They would still tell her to go away and they would whisper amongst each other and laugh, while she sat by herself waiting to be invited. She had been so stupid to think they would ever consider her an equal. At these thoughts, her eyes welled up with tears. She hadn't cried when she knew for sure Hermione was with Harry, but now her soul was so full of sadness she couldn't bear to hold it back. She hugged herself tightly and continued her walk, staring intently at the ground. 

            Maybe she should have slept with Harry. Perhaps that was why he hadn't stayed with her. The thought wandered off her mind as quickly as it had come. Harry was not so shallow as to want sex to fall in love. He was an honest guy who relied on pure and trusting love rather than sexual. This was definitely Hermione's fault and she would pay. She wanted her to die a horrible death and suffer in the pits of hell for all eternity. Then it could be just her, Harry, and Ron, the new and better trio. Ginny grinned at the idea. It made her happy and warm inside, as sweet and forbidden ideas usually do. She was so distracted that she did not become aware of a person standing in the middle of the corridor. The figure watched her approach slowly and did nothing to stop her. She bumped into the person and looked up, surprised.

"Weasley," said Draco Malfoy, his trademark smirk playing on his face. He regarded her with shining silver-colored eyes and she automatically became defensive.

"Leave me alone, Malfoy," said Ginny, trying to get around him but he blocked her. 

"Now, what's a little Weasel like you doing up so late?"

"What's a ferret like you doing out of its hole?" she retorted. It did not upset him as she hoped it would. Instead, it made his smirk even larger. 

"I asked you first," he said, calmly leaning his body against the wall. 

"Well I'm not answering. Go fuck yourself," Ginny said, and this time walked right past him without being blocked. She let out a long breath of relief and marched down the corridor.

"You know," said Malfoy, all sarcasm and rudeness gone from his voice, "I would be furious with Granger if I were you." Ginny paused and turned around. Contrary to what her mind told her to do, she responded.

"I _am_ angry at her."

"I would want to tear Potter away from her," he continued, surveying his nails. 

"Which is what I plan to do."

"But _how_ are you going to do it?" Draco asked in a mocking voice.  

"I'll find a way. Now don't worry about little old me," said Ginny, sarcastically. She wasn't about to discuss her plans with Draco because technically it was none of his business. 

"I don't worry about Weasels."

"Then leave me alone."

"You know, pretty soon you will be so overshadowed by Granger that not even your obscenely red hair will be noticed," said Malfoy, and strode casually down the hall and around a corner, leaving Ginny with her thoughts pounding in her head.     

"Mind your own business, ferret!" she yelled down the corridor, not caring whether Mrs. Norris or an authority figure heard her. She continued her walk, opposite the way Draco Malfoy had gone, thinking about what he had said. It proved that not everything was her imagination. Hermione had always outshined Ginny, but it seemed that now she was trying to surpass her all the way. She was striving to take everything. Ginny was going to put a stop to it – the sooner the better. 

************************************************************************

            Ron stumbled into the common room at about four in the morning, trying hard to maintain balance. He put a finger to his lips in a sign of silence, even though there was no one in the room. Then he proceeded to crash into a table, knocking over a bright orange vase. It shattered on the cold stone floor. Without taking notice, he made his way up the staircase and to his room. Ron held out one hand to the wall for support since he felt that at any moment his legs would give out. Swinging the door open, he found his roommates deep in slumber. He wobbled his way over to Harry's bedside and stared at him for a couple of minutes. Harry was lying on his stomach, grasping a pillow, unaware of any sounds. Ron bent over, shaking him a couple of times and calling out his name, seeking to wake him up. After a couple of minutes, he straightened up and his eyes fell on Harry's broom, which lay on top of his school trunk. He snatched it up and began whacking him with it. 

"HEY! HEY! STOP IT!" yelled Harry, flailing his arms in an attempt to shield himself from the blows. He finally caught the handle and yanked the broom out of Ron's hands. By then, everyone in the room had woken up, startled by the shouts.    

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" Harry asked, his green eyes wide.

"Trying to wake you up," he slurred.

"You're drunk, aren't you?" 

"Maybe I am," said Ron, indignantly. 

"Will you guys take the conversation elsewhere? We're trying to sleep," said Neville, covering his head with a pillow. Harry threw his covers off and grabbed Ron by the arm, dragging him out of the dormitory and back down to the common room.

(A/N: Spelling mistakes on what Ron is saying in the following conversation are INTENTIONAL.)

"Whaddid you do that for? Ya know how long it took me to get upsteers?"

"Like two minutes."

"Yes," replied Ron, collapsing on a couch, "But it was the longest two minutes of my life."

"Oh, shut up, will you?" said Harry, angrily. "What did you wake me up for?"

"Well, I jus wanned to tell ya dat Herminny is my friend. And I'm not stayin' away from her 'cause you have ta be all jealous and shit," slurred Ron, trying to make eye contact with Harry as best as he could. 

"If it were true that you only want to be her friend and nothing else then I wouldn't mind. But I KNOW you love her and want her as more than just a pal."

"I dunt wanner as a girlfrin. I love Lavender."

"Yes, but Lavender's dead and it would only be natural for you to go after a living being," objected Harry.

"I dunt care what you say. I'm not keepin' away from Herminny," said Ron, unwilling to change his mind, even if it brought consequences. Harry sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, Ron noticed (Even though he was beyond drunk), that Harry had lost his last thread of patience and hope.

"Then this is the end of the conversation. Listen to me Ron, because this is the LAST time I will ever speak to you – I've never loved anything in my life as much as I love Hermione. I'll never hurt her like you did, because you don't hurt what you love," Harry said, turning around and heading back up the stairs to the boys' dormitories. Ron rolled off the couch and onto the floor. He began to laugh, but after a good five minutes he stopped. He didn't know what was so funny. Maybe it was the irony of life, or maybe the fact that he never thought that his friendship would fall apart so quickly before his eyes. This isn't like their argument fourth year. Hermione can't mend what she unwittingly tore apart. 

**To be continued…**

 (A/N: Sorry for the delay but I had severe writers block. Thanks for your patience!)


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